The Beginning:

It all started on the 27th of August 1983 born Andrew James Metcalf at Helm Chase in Kendal. I was an only child and because i was born at the end of August i would be the youngest in my year all through school. I started at Ghyllside Nursery in 1986 and probably the earliest memory i have was getting told off for spitting at someone who spat at me. I learnt 2 lessons that day; to behave and revenge doesn't pay. There are probably some sayings that sound better but i can't think of them right now.

I was raised by ducks until 1985

Primary School:

Then in 1987 i started at Ghylside Primary School which was just next door to the nursery at the time, now its all one big building. I was a bit of a day dreamer at school and didn't do much work, one time a book was thrown at me for day dreaming and just missed me. Another time the teacher went mental when i asked what we were supposed to be doing after i daydreamed through her instructions. In primary school i got my first computer an Atari STE520 and to this day i love Cannon Fodder, Air 2 Air and Utopos. It was at Ghyllside school where i got my first job (Although my mum stole the money probably) I was a shoe model for Kshoes. I even remember walking down a cat walk throwing cruncie bars (which i loved) at journalists and being really annoyed i couldn't have one.

Running a farm was thirsty work

I also had to wear glasses in primary and some of secondary school to sort my eyes out, and haven't had to wear them since. I enjoyed Ghyllside and walking home from school popping in to "Margret's Shop" as people called it and buying highland toffee or penny chews to nourish the 15 minute walk home. Then during a lesson we got a visitor from Kikbie Kendal School it was Mr. Shot his wavey golden locks made my choice clear as did Lomax's speach impediment.

My first job was a part time pervert

Secondary School:

So in 1994 i started in secondary school at Kirkbie Kendal. Everyone was alot bigger it was very scary and we had to do work, i was good on the whole and homework was usually done at the last minute and the odd time in the lesson it was for. I got my first PC from a Mailorder company in 1996 called simply "Dan" it was basically a server and was a PI 166mhz with MMX techology a 4mb matrox graphics card and a 5 gig hdd with 32mb of ram. This was an amazing machine and did me proud for many years.

I grew to love computers and all things about them whether i understood them or not. I loved to draw and animate, cartoons mostly and there was nothing at school that i really was any good at just average. Enjoyed history even though i got an E for it. My maths was awful but all through school i was lucky enough to have the same teacher Mrs. Causey who basically trained me into getting a C which i am very proud of considering i couldn't do times tables when i started secondary school.

I was high on Jelly Cubes most of the day

College and Work:

On leaving school in 1999 i was told not to go do A-Levels simply because my grades were not good enough, i didn't know what to do and found a computer course at Kendal College which changed my life forever. I was very quiet in school didn't have many friends and starting college was pretty scary for me. Things had happened in my life which would take far too long to explain here and so it was good to get out and do something after being at home all summer.

I was at Kendal College for 3 years and made some good friends. I practially learnt everything at College, not in the lessons they were pointless but in the laughs we had the things we did after college and just in general. After Kendal College i went to Lancaster and Morecambe College where a few months earlier i got my first proper job working in a Warehouse at night, I am still there now 7 years on. It was through Lancaster College i made some more friends and got my second Job doing website design. I self taught myself everything. The saying "it's not what you know it's who you know" is true as it was a tutor who got me the work and i had and really still have no qualifications.

Then in 2004 i left Lancaster and Morecambe and my life as a student was over, and i carried on what i was doing at the end of college, a mixture of website design and stacking pallets. I do other things like PC construction but its more of a hobby really. Mainly i watch films and listen to music and for the first time in my life i have started reading books more. It probably wont be long before i start drinking tea and read the morning paper with a pipe.